Love & Marriage

Before we even get into what you should do in your relationship, let’s start with what not to do.

Don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to. I got married the first time because I was raised Catholic and that’s what you were supposed to do. Wrong. I got married the second time because I was miserable and lonely and thought having a loving wife would fix everything for me. Also wrong. Took me three tries to figure out what should have been obvious from the beginning, the only reason you should ever be with the person you’re with is because you simply love being around them. It really is that simple.

—Greg

When I sent out my request to readers for advice, I asked people who were on their second or third (or fourth) marriages what they did wrong the first few times.

By far, the most common answer was “being with the person for the wrong reasons.”

Some of these wrong reasons included:

• Pressure from friends and family

• Feeling like a “loser” because they were single and settling for the first person that came along

• Being together for image—because the relationship looked good on paper (or in photos), not because the two people actually admired each other.

• Being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything.